Bedtime Struggles - Westcliff Early Learning Academy

Bedtime Struggles

Bedtime can be a tender challenge, especially as our young ones start exploring their independence. It’s a common phase — one that often starts around age 2 ½ — as children become more aware of themselves, their choices, and, well…all the other exciting things they’d rather do than sleep! But sleep is an important boundary that helps your child feel rested, recharged, and ready for all the wonders of the next day. Here, I’ll share some supportive strategies that can ease those bedtime battles and make the transition to sleep be smoother for everyone.

Understanding Bedtime Stalling

Bedtime stalling is natural. Around the age 2 ½, toddlers start wanting to assert their independence, which can look like saying “no” more often or wanting to stay up and play instead of sleeping. Although bedtime resistance can be challenging, it’s also a positive sign of growth. As they start to explore autonomy, maintaining a loving but firm boundary around bedtime can help create structure, security, and the much-needed rest they require for development.

1. Establish a Steady Bedtime Routine

Consistency is powerful for toddlers. A set bedtime routine—such as bath, brush, books, and bed—builds predictability, which toddlers find comforting. Aim for bedtime between 7 and 9 p.m., and follow the same sequence every night. For example, if you start with bath time and finish with a cozy story in bed, keeping this order helps your child know what’s coming next. Over time, their body will recognize the signals and start winding down naturally. And don’t worry if you have to shorten certain steps occasionally—shortening a bath, for instance, won’t disrupt the whole routine.

2. Maintaining Calm and Setting Boundaries

Bedtime can sometimes lead to strong emotions, especially if your child is particularly tired or testing boundaries. Staying calm and collected lets your child know that the boundary around bedtime is lovingly enforced, regardless of their resistance. If your child expresses frustration or sadness, try acknowledging their feelings, like, “I know it’s hard to stop playing, but we need to sleep now to feel good for tomorrow.”

Offering simple, direct choices can also help: “Would you like to walk to bed, or should I carry you?” This lets your child feel involved without shifting the bedtime boundary.

3. Sticking to a Schedule

Toddlers thrive on predictability, and a steady schedule is one of the most effective ways to establish a healthy bedtime habit. Even if it feels challenging at times, maintaining a consistent sleep schedule helps them adapt to their internal clock, which in turn helps you avoid power struggles. Keeping a reliable bedtime signals to your child that sleep isn’t a negotiable part of the day but a comforting and expected part of their evening.

4. Offer Choices to Empower Your Child

To a young child, bedtime may feel like a decision being made for them rather than with them. By offering small choices, you’re giving them a little control within the set boundary. For example, try:

  • “Do you want to take your teddy bear or your favorite book with you?”
  • “Would you like one last hug from Mom or Dad?”

When my own child, Ryaan, went through this phase, small choices made a big difference. A simple race to the bed or allowing him to pick a stuffed animal for the night turned bedtime from a struggle into a more enjoyable routine. Just remember to stick to two clear options to avoid overwhelming them, and if they don’t choose, gently make the choice yourself, letting them know they can decide next time.

5. Gentle Responses to Bedtime “Excuses”

It’s amazing how creative little ones can be with reasons to stay up just a bit longer. Whether it’s “I need water,” “One more story,” or “I need to go potty again,” calmly acknowledging their need while maintaining the boundary can help keep things on track. Here are a few helpful responses:

  • “One last sip, and then it’s time for bed.”
  • “We finished our two stories for tonight, but we can read more tomorrow.”
  • “Let’s take one final bathroom trip, and then it’s sleepy time.”

When your child sees that you’re warm but firm, they’ll gradually learn that bedtime doesn’t bend to extra requests, which can help reduce stalling over time.
These moments, though sometimes challenging, are all part of the journey as your child grows. By balancing choice and structure with a gentle, consistent approach, bedtime can become less of a battle and more of a routine. One day, your little one will settle in with ease, ready to snuggle and rest, knowing that tomorrow will bring more adventures and love.